How To Look And Feel Like A New Yorker And Not A Tourist

Part Two: On Walking

Approaching an intersection, do not stop walking until you’re a good 3-4 feet into the street. Walk signals, green or red, mean nothing in this town. Your walk signal is looking up the avenue and deciphering whether or not you can make it to the other side before the oncoming traffic enters the intersection. If you decide you can, do so. And you must walk across the street as if the automobile was never invented. If you decide you cannot safely cross, then refrain, but not without a look of exacerbation. Throwing your hands up in the air is a nice touch, but be careful not to inadvertently hail a cab.

If, on your walk, you see something interesting, you may glance, but under no circumstances are you to look at it. Whatever it is that has caught your attention, I assure you it’s not at all interesting, and only the Tourist would think so. This applies to noticing “how tall the buildings are,” “how many taxis there are,” “just how big Central Park is,” and, of course, “just how crazy Times Square is.”